My most recent significant validating moment came when a colleague said to me, ‘it’s ok to be sad Ayoola. Give yourself the permission to grieve…’
It took a few beats but once the words settled, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. My reaction to that particular situation made sense, it was valid! I felt validated, empowered, bigger, lighter. I had room to host the emotion; avoidance was too much work. Bitterness tasted sour but validation felt airy.
I was stuck in my head till validation allowed me to release the tension that I was unaware that my body was tightly holding on to.
Inhale, exhale, release the tears.
The ability to regulate emotions starts from an early age. Validation can be the first tool in our toolkit that allows us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) teaches that you can’t change what you don’t first accept.
Let your body be your guide, notice where you carry the tension of unresolved emotions and, give yourself the permission to release into relaxation.
Join me in a future Emotional Wellness Space where we explore emotions as an embodied experience and learn tools to regulate.
Be well,
Ayoola